The Smoke Eater For April 13, 2020
An "Act of God," the post office, and "FDR: American Badass!"
The post office leaves Hank Hill feeling patriotic.
Good evening, this is The Smoke Eater for Monday, April 13, 2020, and STFU about Tiger King.
Quick Hit
Goddammit * Don't call it a "bailout" * Murdering the Post Office * It's finally over * Cenk Uygur's a dick * Mitch, please * FDR: American Badass!
NOTE: I would have had this out sooner, but my internet died. In order to (try) and stay sane, I've been doing my best Jimmy Stewart impression and sitting in my window taking photos of my tiny section of Chicago. Patreon subscribers can see the first volume of the series now. Both The Smoker Eater and the photos series are mobile friendly, ad-free and supported by super awesome. If you want to be super awesome, tip me on Ko-Fi, or subscribe to my Patreon!
"An Act Of God"
Some politicos insist that the pandemic was an "act of God," but an exhaustive investigation by New York Times' Julian Barnes shows how Trump ignored experts for at least six weeks. Trump threw a tantrum in February when a senior CDC official went around the White House and started warning people about a pandemic. When a senior national security official tried to warn about China's cover-up of the virus, administration officials began peddling "Deep State" conspiracy theories in fear upsetting China during trade war negotiations -- only to then turn around and start an inter-agency pissing contest full of racist diatribes. And then there was the black comedy of errors surrounding the testing kits (or lack thereof)...
Never Waste A Perfectly Good Crisis
The expectation that Congress would actually do anything in 2020 has been thrown out the window thanks to the coronavirus and a number of lawmakers are desperate to look competent while a pandemic rages during an election year, Politico's Burgess Evertt reports.
The Wall Street Journal's Gerald Seib reports Tea Party Republican's are starting to get cold feet about all the trillion dollar economic stimulus packages they're being forced to vote. The Tea Party is skittish about tipping the market's invisible hand with another massive financial rescue package. Fearing yet another populist revolt, Congress is loathe to call this "a bailout," and are hoping the so-called "King of Debt" will be able to keep his sycophants in line.
Fears about mismanagement of the massive financial bailouts may already be realized, Peter Whoriskey writes for The Washington Post. The massive $2.2 trillion stimulus/bailout package carries a provision that allows businesses to stay hidden unless revealed to Congress by Fed Chair Jerome Powell. The suit and tie crowd contends their privacy is essential to convince potential investors of their fiscal solvency (read: lie about being broke A.F.), but transparency advocates maintain the records should be public to monitor potential waste, fraud and abuse from these private companies. In signing the bill, Trump decried that inspector general heading up a panel overseeing the rollout of the money couldn't tell Congress anything without "presidential supervision," then fired the official several days later.
The Post Office
The US Postal Service was all set to receive a massive bailout in that $2 trillion spending deal, but the administration nuked the idea and threatened to veto the entire package over Trump's beef with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. When congress told the administration a revamped bill contained a multi-billion loan (as opposed to a grant) for the Postal Service, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin had a conniption. Mnuchin ultimately relented and reportedly told Congress, "You can have a loan or you can have nothing at all." As of this weekend, the loan had yet to be approved by the Treasury. Without the money, the Postal Service is predicted to be "financially illiquid" by Sept. 30.
Ravaged by the corona virus and beset by crippling financial problems since 2006, Congressional Republicans are using this as an excuse to privatize the Postal Service. On Friday, Megan Brennan, the Postmaster General & CEO released a statement saying that Postal Service needs $25 billion to cover its losses during the pandemic, another $25 billion modernization grant to "weather the longer term economic impacts," debt relief, and more borrowing authority.
It's not without a bit of irony that there's a push to privatize a critical system during the pandemic. Back in March, Garret Graff wrote in Wired how the Postal Service has been considered a key piece of infrastructure since the Cold War thanks to it's remarkable efficiency in reaching every single home in the country (no matter rain, nor sleet, nor snow etc.). Graff wrote how decades old plans to use the Postal Service as a casualty counter during a nuclear attack was revamped so that it could distribute vaccines in the event of a biological disaster.
Additionally, state party leaders across the country are now urging their constituents to vote by mail, counter to the views of the White House. Though Republican's have been slow to embrace absentee voting, they're now encouraging it among groups that are likely to vote Republican, such as seniors. Still, Republican-led states have enacted legislation to restrict who can vote by mail, like forcing voters to request mail-in ballots, demanding excuses, or forcing people to register to to vote before each election. The administration claims that absentee voting opens up avenues for fraud, though incidents are exceedingly rare, with the most recent being a GOP ballot harvesting operation in North Carolina in 2018. Interestingly enough, Republican secretaries of state argued last week against national standards, citing ballot harvesting as a chief concern.
Fun Fact: Despite criticizing any effort for Americans to vote by mail, Trump himself voted by mail in the Florida primary last month. When questioned, Trump responded, "because I'm allowed to."
ICYMI
Bernie Sanders endorsed Joe Biden; the 2020 Democratic presidential primary is finally over.
Progressive media outlet The Young Turks voted to unionize last week and Cenk Uygur doesn't seem happy about it. Politico's Joshua Blanchard reports Uygur used boiler-plate anti-union talking points to try and convince employees against unionizing, and claimed the effort to unionize was a conspiracy to sink his failed congressional bid. Back in February, HuffPo reported Uygur threw a tantrum when employees made an official announcement of their intent to unionize. A short time later In These Times reported on more on TYT's internal drama.
FACT CHECK: Beijing and Shanghai have been affected by the coronavirus. Shitpostings have been popping up on multiple social media platforms claiming that the disease has miraculously avoided both cities.
Get This Mitch Outta Here
Jane Mayer has a real scorched earth piece on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in the New Yorker. The main take away from Mayer's piece is that McConnell's main ideology is himself: he's built a career hoarding wealth and power like some covid toilet paper king.
Mayer's piece glosses over the old'n timey days when McConnell had polio; and Lisa Mascaro writes for the AP that the coronavirus has given him some freaky deja vu. McConnell eventually overcame polio with the help of hydrotherapy provided by President Franklin Roosevelt's Warm Springs retreat. When asked how his family was able to afford polio treatment and if there were any bills, the ever meticulous McConnell replied, "Honestly, I don't know the answer to that."
Fun Fact: A quick look into the archives shows that a good chunk of people who got hydrotherapy treatments for polio at Warm Springs from 1935 to 1940 received some kind of financial assistance. Mayer's piece notes that his extended family was financially well off, but McConnell has repeatedly maintained he had a modest upbringing. McConnell claims his mother often performed much of his physical therapy herself. If the McConnell's received outside financial assistance, it could have come through the National Foundation on Infantile Paralysis (now the the March of Dimes). A good place to start looking would be in the first two boxes of foundation's archival records, courtesy of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library & Museum.
One More Thing...
I'm not going to miss an opportunity to promote the 2012 film, "FDR: American Badass!" Staring Barry Bostwick, this over-the-top historical spoof proposes FDR contracted polio from werewolves during a hunting accident in 1931. The film centers FDR's fight with werewolf Nazis while confined to a wheelchair.
"Who knows? The Dela-knows!"
OK, here's a cute critter video: IT'S A BABY RHINO!
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