The Smoke Eater For March 13, 2020
The COVID-19 crisis, Jared will save us, and a good time for war.
Tourists in Chicago walk around The Loop during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Good morning, this is The Smoke Eater for Friday, March 13, 2020, and it's just another work day for the devil.
Quick Hit
* More COVID-19 info * The administration tries to get its shit together * Congress tries to do something before the recess * Jared Kushner’s in-laws will save us * Disinfo and fuckery * A perfect time for war *
NOTE:Don’t forget to check on your neighbors, especially the elderly and handicapped, and don’t forget to be kind to each other. The Smoker Eater is mobile friendly, ad-free and supported by super awesome readers. If you want to be super awesome, tip me on Ko-Fi, or subscribe to my Patreon!
Prepare, Don't Panic
A new study in the Lancet medical journal reports the virus can be spread before people begin exhibiting symptoms, and can linger in the body during recovery. The study finds the virus can hang out on cardboard for up to 24 hours, on plastics and stainless steel surfaces for up to three days (the median length is around 16 hours and 13 hours, respectively), and remain airborne for up three hours. Science geeks caution we don't need clean suits, but we should all be washing our hands and giving each other plenty of space to limit the risks of exposure. [Full Study]
Earlier this morning, Dr. Anthony Facui, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, spoke about the the screw ups in testing during interviews on several morning shows.
Get Your Shit Together
The administration has announced a series of efforts to contain the rapid spread of COVID-19. Some of the steps include a 24-hour FDA hotline for testing labs, $1.3 million in federal funds for two companies trying to develop a cure, and putting Brett Giroir, the assistant secretary for health, in charge of testing coordination. The move comes after the administration faced criticism for sitting on its ass while a tsunami of sickness washes over Lady Liberty.
Due to the administration’s lack of response, local governments are picking up the slack. Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker is banning gatherings larger than 250 people, while Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot pushed Comcast to increase internet speeds for low-income people. California Gov. Adam Newsom has banned large gatherings too, and signed an executive order that authorizes the state to use hotels and medical facilities to treat coronavirus patients.
Congress might pass some stimulus measures aimed at working class schmoes who are already feeling the crunch of the coronavirus. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is digging her heels into a provision on a paid leave plan that would, "require employers to let workers accrue seven days of leave that would apply in future public health emergencies, on top of an immediate 14 days of leave due to coronavirus-related work stoppages," Roll Call reports. Politico adds that House Republicans don't want to back anything that doesn't have a Trump stamp of approval. This morning Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin said he was mulling over suspending student loan payments, though he cautions, "that’s on our list of 50 different items we’re bringing to the president for a decision." Mnuchin later called the financial crisis caused in part by the outbreak a, "huge opportunity for investment."
Brutal Truth
Jared Kushner's father in-law, Kurt Kloss, an ER doctor (and father of super model/reality show host, Karlie Kloss), has been soliciting help on Facebook for Kushner, The Spectator reports. Screenshots show self-described "BAFERDs" recommending doctors triage patients, establish field hospitals, institute "draconian travel restrictions," and other options that shouldn't have to be considered in a first-world country in the 21st century.
The Washington Post crunched some numbers and found a very sobering reality: there aren't enough ventilators or hospital beds if the virus follows the course some experts fear.
One Canadian firm claims to have created a cure, and they're hoping for a green light from the FDA to begin mass production so it could be ready for the broader public within 12 to 18 months.
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
The Senate has failed to pass a measure extending Uncle Sam's super spying powers, leading one Republican to say to reporters, "I hope we don't have an attack this weekend." Libertarians are whining about law, order, and floor debates, while Trump shitposts about men in black spying on his 2016 election campaign.
While the administration publicly denies climate change, it's quietly strong arming local governments into pushing people out of flood-prone areas, The New York Times reports. The administration holding federal funding for flood control hostage by forcing local officials to use eminent domain to buy constituents out of their homes, sometimes for not much more than the value of their homes.
The Pentagon is asking a federal court to let it "conduct a re-evaluation" on "certain aspects" of the JEDI contract. Amazon sued the the Defense Department after it suddenly rescinded a deal for the massive cloud computing contract, awarding it to Microsoft instead. Amazon has claimed the rescission was the result of political influence from the administration.
Come Together, Right Goddamn Now, Goddamnit
Russian, Chinese, and Iranian trolls are fueling COVID-19 conspiracies online. The Foreign Policy Research Institute reports all three countries are using state-sponsored and social media platforms to paint the U.S. as some kind of Machiavellian force de jure. The main message of these stories is that the Trump administration is simultaneously too incompetent to handle the crisis, yet somehow masterminding an HIV-like bioweapon with the intention of exploiting the crisis for political/economic leverage. Similarly, the Trump administration is continuing to finger China, much to the dismay of health officials and foreign policy nerds who see this as an opportunity to build bridges ahead of the next international fuck up.
Russia has exported some of its election fuckery operations to Africa, CNN reports. At least one group has been using mobile phones to inflame racial divisions through coordinated shitposts on social media platforms. Local authorities have shut down one operation in Ghana, but there's concern Russia is embedding itself in Africa through quid pro quo security agreements. Back in October, Facebook announced it had shutdown three Kremlin-linked networks that were trolling African politicos and US Democratic presidential candidates.
One More Thing...
The Pentagon blamed a Iranian-backed Shiite militia group for an attack on Iraqi coalition base that left three people dead, and 14 injured. The U.S. responded to the attack with airstrikes against the group, killing five, according to Iraqi officials. This morning the US announced it would continue to anchor two carrier strike groups in the region, and potentially roll out more counter-measures for stopping rockets, artillery, and mortars known as "C-RAM."
Yesterday members of Congress bitched out Army leaders over their failure to deploy those C-RAM systems. Defense One reports the military has had difficulty implementing the Israeli Iron Dome system it bought. Recently, both Politico and The War Zone have reported some bases in Iraq lack weapon systems intended to counter rocket and mortar attacks. In a related story, yesterday the top military official in Iraq fell on a sword for the reporting errors in the aftermath of the January rocket attack.
OK, now here's a warm and fuzzy critter video: IT'S MAVERICK! And even he washes his paws!
Follow Dominic on Twitter and Instagram.
The Smoke Eater is mobile friendly, ad-free and relies on your tips and subscriptions. It takes a lot of time and energy to put each issue together, so consider tipping me on Ko-Fi, or subscribing to my Patreon.
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Shoot me an email or slide into my DMs!