Donald Trump speaks at the “Salute To America” rally in Washington D.C., July 4, 2019. Photo by Dominic Gwinn
Good morning, this is The Smoke Eater for Wednesday, May 20, 2020, and we cover distance but not together.
Quick Hit
* New CDC guidelines * It's all about the MAGA rallies * Regularly scheduled congressional grifting * "Radio Gravy" *
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"What Have You Got To Lose?"
Early this morning the CDC released a 60-page document for reopening schools, day cares, and other businesses that have been shutdown during the pandemic. At the heart of the guidelines is a robust contact tracing and testing initiative that the U.S. simply doesn't have, and some duct tape squares.This updates the 38-page document the administration released last week.
The administration is moving aggressively to reopen the country, Politico reports, so the Trump campaign can hold MAGA rallies. Campaign officials feel people wearing masks around Trump sends a "morbid" message, and the IRL campaign events could give them an advantage over Joe Biden. Toluse Olorunnipa writes in The Washington Post that Trump's entire 2020 campaign was built on the belief he could hold massive rallies, turning them into "week-long events bracketed by surrogate appearances, bus tours and tailgate-style parties." The campaign's hope is that getting Trump on a stage to yell and scream about immigrants will be better than his televised tantrums and scatterbrained shitposts.
In order to facilitate this return to normalcy, Republican political operatives have a plan to throw a slew of pro-Trump T.V. doctors on the idiot box, Michael Biesecker and Jason Dearen report for the AP. The Republican power couple, Matt and Mercedes Schlapp, tell the AP that Trump is getting, "tagged by the fake news media as being irresponsible and not listening to doctors," and that most people don’t die from the coronavirus. After the AP started digging into the story and getting the cold shoulder, a PR firm sent out a letter calling state quarantines a "mass casualty event" because "millions" of people are dying from alcoholism, homelessness, suicide, etc. Actual doctors say this idea is "totally irresponsible" and note that the over 90,000 Americans who've died from the coronavirus is likely an undercount.
BONUS: Yesterday the administration dropped a broad executive order asking government agencies to look for regulations that are presumably harming economic recovery so that they can be rolled back.
The Justice Department has sent California a nastygram claiming Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom is stifling Bible thumpers First Amendment right to endlessly holler about omnipotent cloud people, Matthew Ormseth and Alex Wigglesworth report for the L.A. Times. Judges at the district and federal level have already ruled against religious institutions clutching their pearly trinkets, with one noting services are, "not analogous to picking up groceries, food or medicine," adding, "Instead, it is more analogous to attending school or a concert — activities where people sit together in an enclosed space to share a communal experience." The DOJ argues that California deems e-commerce and entertainment industries as essential, and therefore the quarantine, "facially discriminates against religious exercise.”
Small towns are excoriating bigger cities and governors for keeping quarantine orders in place. Remote towns without high rates of infection complain that the restrictions cities have put in place, like wearing a mask or limiting mass gatherings, are oppressive. City officials argue they're attempting to mitigate the spread of the virus, and note that regional reopening plans from state leaders are often less restrictive. The math nerds over at 538 say public polling data shows the divide on whether or not to reopen is quickly becoming a partisan issue thanks in part to the administration continued its refusal to lead.
Swallow It
A new Virginia-based pharmaceutical company was awarded $354 million in federal funding to make generic drugs, including drugs used to treat Covid-19 patients, Jared S. Hopkins and Rebecca Ballhaus write for the Wall Street Journal. To score the (very) lucrative contract, the company hired two lobbying firms to pitch an "America-centric message that appealed to officials" in the administration.
Kate Ackley reports for Roll Call that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was able to jam through the appoint of Texas Republican lawyer James "Trey" Trainor III to the Federal Election Commission. This technically gives FEC a quorum, but it's unlikely anything will actually get done due to the divisions between the two Democratic and Republican commissioners. Senate Democrats protested Trainor's nomination, noting that he was a lawyer for Trump's 2016 campaign.
Bomb's Away
Task and Purpose got their hands on a draft memo to the DOD that says we shouldn't expect a coronavirus vaccine until "at least summer of 2021," and that the DOD should assume "the real possibility of a resurgence of COVID-19" as it moves forward with plans to carry on regular duties. The memo was scribbled by an Kenneth Rapuano, assistant secretary of defense for homeland defense and global security for Defense Secretary Mark Esper, but T&P notes it's unclear if Esper has seen the memo and if there are/will be changes, though it's been floating around the DOD brass all month. It goes on to say personnel should expect to operate "in a globally-persistent COVID-19 environment in the months ahead," with a likelihood of flare ups around flu season.
A former campaign chairman for Guam Democratic Del. Michael F.Q. San Nicolas testified that San Nicolas had an affair with his chief of staff and accepted a $10,000 donation from a local businessman, Roll Call reports. Details of the alleged affair seem to be corroborated by at least one other staffer who noted the two seemed a little cozy with one another. Roll Call adds that San Nicolas has misses a hell of a lot of votes, and spends a lot of time napping in his office.
One More Thing...
In the early 1990s, British comedian Steve Coogan co-created the character of Alan Partridge, a conservative egomaniacal radio D.J. from a small town. Over the last few decades, Coogan has taken the Partridge to radio, TV, the web, the stage, print, and film. The 2013 film, "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa," sees Partridge become an accidental hostage negotiator when the new owners of his radio station start laying people off. (via Tubi)
OK, here's a cute critter video: BABY GOATS
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