The Smoke Eater For May 6, 2020
The Pony Express meets a glue factory, space hustlers, and Trollhunter.
Photo by Dominic Gwinn
Good afternoon, this is The Smoke Eater for Wednesday, May 6, 2020, and my letter keeps coming back.
Quick Hit
* The next bailout, or rescue, or whatever * It’s the goddamn mail, man * Moon men mining minerals means more money * A Nordic treat *
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A new ADP Research study study released this morning reached the rather obvious conclusion that so many people lost their jobs last month that some bean counters think we could be facing another Great Depression. Because the last few decades have seen America develop an economy largely driven by crappy jobs in the service sector, the report shows those 16 million lost jobs were roughly 80 percent of U.S. jobs.
Members of Congress are already attempting to cobble together another bailout package. Roll Call reports House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats are committed to adding $25 billion to keep the U.S. Postal Service alive, but the situation is still fluid.
Among some of the ideas Democrats are throwing around extending unemployment bonuses, and rolling back the requirement that 75 percent of the PPP loans be spent on payroll so that money can be used on things like rent. Federal News Network also reports several legislators pushing for things like hazard pay, and adjustments to the federal worker's leave policy. Additionally, Pelosi says Democrats want to get $60 billion to the small, middle of nowhere banks that serve even smaller businesses, as well as those owned by women and minorities.
Congressional Republicans, meanwhile, are beside themselves as Trump demands a payroll tax cut. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is insisting the next bailout include a provision to shield businesses from any liability lawsuits that could spring up as a result of the pandemic. When asked why about the lack of support from Senate Republicans for Trump's payroll tax cut, Republican Sen. John Thune noted, "The payroll tax cut only helps if you're on the payroll."
WaPo adds that Republicans say a large chunk of the funds already allocated from previous bailouts have yet to be released, and that the White House doesn't want to spend any more money.
The Post Office
Let's go back to that $25 billion bailout for the U.S. Postal Service. As one might expect, Trump is still throwing a tantrum and demanding the Postal Service make more money (so he can stick it to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos).
A lot of this stretches back to the Bush administration. In 2006 the the GOP rammed through the Postal Accountability Enhancement Act (PAEA). The bill forced the USPS to pre-fund retirement health care benefits for future postal workers for 75 years. TLDR: This broke the back of the Pony Express. The irony, as HuffPo wrote back in 2011, is that the PAEA is massive, government-funded universal health care program that sets money aside for people who haven't even been born.
The notion that the Postal Service is broken and should be dissolved is getting buoyed by the Wall Street Journal, which is again running op-ed's from rich old farts (who coincidentally head up UPS and advise the arch-conservative Heartland Institute) complaining about the Postal Service being a drag on the economy, and sitting on some prime real estate in major cities.
Back in February, House Democrats tried to put a cork in the Postal Service's giant money pit with the passage of the USPS Fairness Act. The bill would repeal the PAEA's future health care provision, but McConnell shoved it into his spider hole along with with all the other social justice legislation House Democrats have passed this year (like H.R.1 -- the election reform and anti-corruption bill that would make it easier to vote).
Coincidentally, these calls to kill or rescue the Postal Service come as Democrats push to expand vote-by-mail before the November elections, the AP reports. Republicans maintain that vote-by-mail increases the likelihood of voter fraud, though there is no evidence to support the claim, even as states explore more absentee voting provisions amid the pandemic. Conspiracy nuts and disinfo bots are already parroting their own talking points on social media, leading security researchers to caution that this provides an avenue for Russian-linked groups to feed shitposts about voter fraud (the kind often espoused by Trump) with the aim of casting doubt about the authenticity of democracy.
Charles Clark reports for the San Diego Union-Tribune that the USPS is already instrumental in every election. The USPS is a a crucial asset in everything from absentee ballots for the elderly and members of the military, to those obnoxious campaign mailers. Clark notes that it's the Postal Service that registrars rely upon for sample ballots and other election materials. And if that wasn't enough, vote-by-mail increases the likelihood traditionally marginalized voters, like the poor, young people, and minorities, can all be heard on Election Day.
Enjoy Your Dystopian Sci-Fi Fever Dreams, Humanity
The administration is rocketing ahead with plans to land on the moon, and frack the shit out of it, Reuters reports. "The Artemis Accords," named after the new NASA program, intends to create "safety zones" around future moon bases to prevent turf wars between rival countries and/or companies. The idea is to start hashing the plan out with "like-minded" countries (Canada, Japan, the Unite Arab Emirates, and Europe) in the next few weeks. Curiously, the Pentagon has put its boot down and insisted Russia not be a part of the talks. A senior administration official says they're attempting to circumvent the existing United Nations treaty process as it's seen as slow and bureaucratic -- plus, Trumpland would to play with all the poor countries who don't have space programs.
There MIGHT be an arms-control summit with the five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council, according John Sullivan, the U.S. ambassador to Moscow.
Not Even Tom Clancy Was This Stupid
Giancarlo Fiorella has a deep dive in Bellingcat about that failed U.S. mercenary-led coup in Venezuela. The Popular Front podcast analyzed the absurdity of the situation over the last few days and found that it's a clusterfuck of Trumpian proportions. The TLDR right now is it looks like a grifter from Trumpland hitched his wagon to an existing plot to oust Venezuela's dictator, Nicolas Maduro, but there's still a lot up in the air. Personally, I want to know who the fuck tries to stage a coup with a damn airsoft gun!
One More Thing...
"Trollhunter" is a 2010 Norwegian film about a group of students searching for a mysterious man, comedian Otto Jespersen, who hunts mythical Norse creatures. Shot in the style of a mockumentary, the horror-comedy blends classic fairy tales and Norse mythology with modern social satire. Set aside your complaints about subtitles, and give this one about 20 minutes before you go back to your quarantine binge de jour.
OK, here's a cute critter video: 360° BABY SEA TURTLES!
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